Characters: Eleventh Doctor/River Song
Warnings: Explicit Sex, Swearing.
Summary — When River and the Doctor find themselves in each other's bodies, they discover that some traits are physiological. And some are definitely not.
AN — Oh look, a body-swap fic. How original! :P I didn’t bother with an explanation, so, like, an alien did it?
What's Mine is Yours
“Can I make a suggestion?” River said.
They had been occupying each other’s bodies for almost four days and the Doctor was beginning to associate hearing his own voice with being irritated. “What?”
“Could you wear some latex gloves when you’re doing that?”
He continued using River’s fingers to clear the plenum tray under the TARDIS console. “I could, but it would make it more difficult.” He heard his voice make a light whine from the stairwell, and he pushed the goggles up onto his forehead, well River’s forehead. “What is it?”
“It’s just, my nails. You’re ruining them.” River reached out imploringly with the Doctor’s arm.
“Look, it’s much easier to get in at all the fiddly bits with your fingers. If I wore latex gloves, I may as well be using my own.”
“I want my own fingers back. Yours are too big. It’s murder trying to floss your teeth.” She sat sulking in the Doctor’s body. Was that what he looked like sulking? It was no wonder no one took him seriously.
“How about before we switch back, I bring your body out for a manicure at Neropia Baths?” he offered.
River perked up a bit. “How about we both go for a full body buff?”
“You’re not buffing my body, River. And don’t think I haven’t noticed you’ve been moisturising my elbows, by the way.”
“They were so rough, they kept catching in your shirts. How do you live like that?”
“I never noticed. Speaking of irritating body parts, your breasts are sore.”
“Are they? Oh! Erm, and otherwise how are you feeling?”
“A bit heavy or something. And really hungry.” He looked at River and her expression on his face was one of pity. “What is it?”
“Well, that’s usually how I feel before my time of the month.”
“Your time of the…? No!”
Later, after the TARDIS scanner proved that it had been a false alarm and that the Doctor was not on the verge of getting his first period, River was reading. Not because she was particularly interested in the subject matter, but because it was a convenient way of avoiding the Doctor’s advances. Some things, River had discovered, were part of the personality, others were linked entirely with the physical body. Libido fell into the latter category.
When she first found herself in the Doctor’s body, it was surprising and interesting to feel things from his perspective. Like, for example, how her mind rarely wandered in filthy directions. Of course she could make it wander if she wanted to, but it rarely did so of its own volition. She soon settled into the simpler way of thinking. It was quite nice, actually, not to be bothered by constant horniness.
The Doctor on the other hand was struggling with River’s sex-drive, and he was becoming almost lecherous. Even though River had told him she didn’t want to try anything, that it would be too weird, the Doctor kept making suggestions.
He sat on the floor in front of her chair and walked River’s fingers up his own thigh.
“No,” River said without looking up from her book.
“Don’t you think it would be a shame not to at least try it out? We could learn something from it.”
“Look, I know you fancy yourself rotten, but I just don’t feel that way about myself.”
“That’s just my body talking. If you had brought your sex-drive with you, you’d be chomping at the bit. Even just aesthetically speaking, you have to admit, you have a very attractive body.”
“Then why don’t you go and have fun by yourself? You have my blessing.” River watched her own face flush with shame. “You already have, haven’t you?”
“Of course I have. Look at me, all soft and curves and sensitive bits.” He ran River’s hands over some examples of each. “Can I ask you something? This bit here.” He stroked a spot near her waist that River recognised, “When you’re in your body, do you like this bit being touched? A lot?”
River closed her book. “Yes, actually.”
“Then it looks like what normally does it for you, does it for me when I’m in your body.” He giggled ridiculously in a way River never would.
“So you mean I could actually show you what I like, and you can understand it? Physically?”
“Well that is interesting.”
“In the interests of science, River, I think you must.”
“Don’t push it,” River said as she got up. “Now come on and pay attention.”
Spending time in River’s body had certainly been eye opening for the Doctor. It had given him new respect for the fact that she ever got anything done. Or that she managed to keep her hands to herself as much as she did. He had spent the previous four days in a state of near constant arousal, and River, with his quieter physiology, was frustratingly unhelpful.
Even now, teaching him about her body, she was being painfully matter-of-fact. And for some reason River’s body, more than anything, wanted a good hard fucking. But it seemed she had already forgotten what that felt like and was driving her own body to distraction.
“Why don’t you get undressed, River?” He looked up at his own face, stern with mild irritation.
“Why would I need to? This is your lesson.” She did what on her would look like pursing her lips, but on him it came closer to a duck’s bill. The Doctor fought the urge of River’s body to grab his head and smoosh that duck face between her legs. River’s body, he had learned, was shameless in its desires.
“I could show you a few things about my body too, you know,” he said.
She laughed a smug River laugh, which somehow sounded worse coming out of his mouth. “Sure. Now, nipples.” She flicked her own nipples with his large thumbs, making the Doctor buck on the mattress. Recovering from the momentary brain-fizzle, he hopped up and pinned his own body down on its back. River looked out through his ancient eyes. “What are you doing?”
He unzipped River’s trousers and reached inside and with her tidy fingers found the spot he was looking for. He watched his own eyes fly wide. “What the fuck is that?”
“Don’t swear in my body,” the Doctor said and teased the spot a second time, eliciting a guttural groan. “Not so smug now, are you? Doctor Song thought she knew it all, didn’t she?”
River flipped him over, using the Doctor’s superior body weight to press down deliciously on her soft flesh, and let him undo her shirt buttons at last. She kissed him then, parting her lips with his own cool tongue. It surprised him how big his mouth felt in comparison to hers. “Why didn’t you tell me about that before?” she asked, eyes black and voice rasping with sudden desire.
“Couldn’t have you knowing how to distract me whenever you liked, could I?” the Doctor said as he finished undressing his own body by toeing the trousers off. “At least one of us needs to be in control of ourselves.” He gasped as he felt River thrust up into him, the novelty of the glorious stretching sensation making River’s eyes roll back. “Good lord, River. This is divine.”
“Shut up,” River said, kneeling up and pulling her own body up onto her borrowed cock.
The Doctor felt a jolt of pleasure. “Why?”
“Because I want to know what it’s like to fuck me, and I can’t if you won’t shut the bloody hell up.”
“Look. If you shut up, I’ll show you how to make me come really really hard, and then you’ll know what it feels like. First hand.”
Even the promise made River’s body shudder, and the Doctor, deciding for the sake of science that keeping quiet would be the best option, zipped his lips and let River teach him her tricks.
River eyed the Doctor fast asleep in her body and fought the urge to poke him awake. It’s not that she wanted to be asleep, but she was bored now that he’d successfully distracted her. And, if she was honest, a bit lonely too.
Sex was different from his body’s perspective. It was certainly incredibly pleasurable, but it wasn’t the same as it was for her body. If for her it came top of the list of ways to spend a rainy afternoon, for him it would be closer to third or fourth.
She went and took a long shower, examining that spot the Doctor had shown her and filing that information away for when she was back in her own body. She exfoliated and moisturised—against his express wishes, but he didn’t take much heed of her express wishes, so she didn’t care a jot.
She had been both right and wrong in her previous assumption that it would be too weird. It was weird, but not in the way she expected it to be. She’d asked him to keep quiet so she could see what it was like to make love to herself, but even when he didn’t make a sound, it was still him staring up or down at her from behind her own eyes. Still the Doctor.
Which was good, she supposed, considering this was the only version of him she’d encountered so far. She knew there had been and would be others, and it was strangely comforting to know that he was always the same person, regardless of the body he inhabited.
She wrapped a towel around his waist and leaned to look into the mirror above the sink. His face didn’t look like his when she was inside. The corners of his mouth fell and the bathroom lights seemed harsher than usual.
Hearing her own yawn, she turned from the mirror to watch him come stretching into the room. He had her body wrapped in his own flannel dressing gown and a grin on her face. River recognised that smile. The only time she ever woke up without an initial pang of terror was here, with him after they’d made love. But he didn’t have that; he was just left on his own while she slept that blissful dreamless sleep.
Turning back to the mirror she ran his knuckles over his dense stubble, the gentle rasp complementing the soft edged pain of her empathy.
“Thinking of shaving?” The Doctor said, thankfully not noticing the atmosphere.
“I wouldn’t know where to start, Sweetie. You have all these swirls on your neck. I’d probably make a mess of it.”
The Doctor cocked River’s head to the side, and it made her realise how that last statement wasn’t like something she would normally say. “There’s not much to it,” he said and strolled over. “Let me.”
It took him a few tries to hoist River’s body up onto the countertop—he still wasn’t used to her height—and River left him to figure it out rather than be patronising by helping him up. He settled in, filled the sink full of water and beckoned River to come closer. She stood between her legs and let the Doctor examine his own face.
He picked up his shaving brush and worked a lather out of his shaving block. River always liked that he was a traditionalist. He started applying the lather to his neck and cheeks and chin, then took his razor and started to carefully drag it over the skin. “It’s just a matter of following the lie of the bristles,” he said, frowning as he concentrated.
“I like to see you taking care of yourself,” River said, letting him pivot his own face to get a better angle for the razor.
“Hmm,” he said, noncommittally.
“I should learn how to do this for you,” River said, enjoying the caress of her own fingers on his freshly shorn skin.
“I’d like that,” he replied simply, and continued.
River realised that the Doctor’s body had relaxed under her touch. It came as a surprise that her body’s mere proximity to his had such a calming effect. Now that the threat of sex was removed at least.
What an odd thought. She had never considered his reluctance to be anything other than for show, because she knew that he enjoyed the kissing and the touching once they got going, and he often openly invited it. But she could see now that there was more to it than that. On the scale of ways to spend a rainy afternoon, sex may have come in third or fourth for him, but simple intimacy—just being close to someone and nothing more—that came top.
The Doctor finished and rinsed the brush and the razor in the sink before letting out the water. “Spick and span. See, nothing to it.”
River looked down at him as he admired his handiwork and caught his gaze. She had loved him for so very long, she didn’t think there was room in her hearts for any more. But she was wrong. She wanted to tell him, to make her declaration in time with the swell of love that was coursing through her—as she always felt free to before—but she knew that he wouldn’t like to hear himself say it. Nor did she want to hear it in his voice if it wasn’t him it was coming from. So she kissed him softly, eyes falling closed and let her love tell its own story. She felt her arms drape up around his neck and tease the still damp hair at his nape. They stayed like that for a while, just kissing. Nothing more.
The Doctor’s mind was racing as he strode as quickly back to the TARDIS as River’s legs would take him. He was aware that he was muttering, but honestly if muttering was all he was doing considering what had just happened, he was doing well. River was loping after him, considerately not catching up.
He pushed his way in through the doors and turned to see River wearing his sympathetic face. “Did you hear the way he spoke to me?”
“He’s like that. You know that. How long have you been using his scrapyard for spare parts?”
“Ages! That makes it worse! After all the business I gave him. And what do you mean, ‘he’s like that?’ He’s never been like that before.”
“Not to you, no.” River’s tone was firmer now and less sympathetic.
The Doctor’s mind was in free fall again as he tried to grasp on to her meaning. They’d just taken a visit to Laureas the Scrap Man to see if he had any helical sprockets for the rotor housing. And whenever the Doctor asked a question, Laureas addressed his answer to River. When he finally did speak directly to the Doctor, all he did was mumble something incomprehensible to River’s breasts.
The Doctor crossed River’s arms in front of him. “I never noticed him treat you like that.”
“I know you didn’t.”
“Well why didn’t you say something?”
“I’m hardly going to make a scene every time I’m treated like that now am I? I have to choose my battles.”
The Doctor tapped River’s foot. “Every time. As in more than Laureas? As in regularly?”
Of course he knew that it happened sometimes, but he had never imagined it to be something that would occur often, let alone under his nose without him realising. His indignation at the injustice of it doubled, and suddenly it was River that he felt for rather than himself.
He marched over to her, took his own face in his borrowed hands and kissed her. “How do you do it?”
“Guns,” she replied with a smirk that even looked good on the Doctor’s face, so he kissed her again.
Then he remembered something. “Sprockets! Forgot the sprockets.”
He made River’s hand slap her forehead and she intervened by taking hold of her own wrist. She pulled something out of her trouser pocket and showed him. Three helical sprockets. “Swiped them while he was ogling you.”
“Oh, you’re good.”
“I know I am.” She strode up to the console, rolling up her shirtsleeves. She pulled out his favourite goggles and held them out to him. “Come on, let’s get stuck in.”
As final requests went, this was a good one of the Doctor’s, River thought. Goodness knows it would have been her request if the time she had in her own body were coming to an end. Especially now that she knew first hand the difference between her orgasms and his.
She looked down at him as she thrust steadily and firmly into him and watched how her body reacted to it. And how the Doctor reacted to her body’s reaction. He had gone silent apart from the odd whimper, eyes closed and head falling to one side. Her body was glowing with a gorgeous pink flush which dappled her skin from her cheeks down over her neck and out across her chest. This, she now knew, was how she looked when she was close.
She held her own leg and drew it up over the Doctor’s shoulder, stretching herself out to bring him even closer. The whimpers became moans and River bit back a grin. This was it—last request about to be fulfilled. She let go then, allowing the pleasure to build in the Doctor’s body.
Suddenly, her vision went fuzzy. She squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath, and her body instantly filled with pleasure. Her body. Her eyes shot open and she saw the Doctor above her gallantly trying not to swear. Any pity she had for him in that instant was eclipsed by the wave of her climax crashing over her. Oh, she had missed this.
The Doctor groaned as he came, and held onto her for a moment or two before rolling away and landing heavily on his back. He put his hand over his face and laugh-sighed. River, still short of breath, righted herself and crawled up to him, taking his hand from his face and kissing him. “Sorry.”
He shook his head and laughed. “Typical.”
River grinned and lay in next to him, feeling his fingers stroke gently down over her back. “You should go to sleep,” he said after a minute or two.
“Hmm,” she said. “Mind if I don’t?”
“Of course not. Do you want to go somewhere? Potholing at the Foulon salt mines to see the crystal caves?”
River grinned. “Perhaps something a little less energetic. Why don’t you teach me something?”
“Like something you could teach me without either one of us needing to get up.”
The Doctor tapped his finger on her shoulder as he thought about it for a moment. “Okay, sit up here.”
River followed his guidance and sat with her back to his chest, and he wrapped his arms around her. Taking her forearm in his hands he traced out a small symbol on the pale flesh of the underside. “What’s that?”
“The first letter of the Gallifreyan alphabet.”
“No it’s not. You already taught me that and it’s all circles, and making sure this circle is at the precise number of minutes of that circle, and ‘good lord, don’t leave that circle incomplete. That’s obscene River!’ You never told me what that meant, by the way.”
“I never will. Now hush up. This,” he traced the symbol on her forearm again, “is the first letter of the Old High Gallifreyan alphabet. It’s ancient and powerful and should only be used in the most solemn of circumstances and always be respected.”
“Show me again?”
He did, and she demonstrated her learning on his arm in return as his free hand rested happily on her thigh. “I love you,” she said, after a while.
He moved his nose down and nuzzled her cheek before kissing it—his usual gesture of reciprocation. The addition of, “Me too,” was unprecedented though. River inclined her face to his as the Doctor’s idea of a perfect way to spend a rainy afternoon leapt into a very close second.